Before ever having children, I had big, perfect ideas of what kind of child I would have and what kind of parent I would be. I very much remember my self-righteous attitude as I judged other parents and their misbehaved children. Oh, how I have eaten some words and repented!!
When I was blessed twelve years ago with a bouncing baby boy, all of those ideas flew right out the window. You see, that perfect little bouncing baby has not stopped bouncing. His fun, adventurous and strong-willed personality did not fit into my expectations of parenting. When he hit the toddler years his busyness increased. I was constantly on guard to protect him from his curiosity. I also was deeply embarrassed in social situations because I, in no way, had a hold on this parenting thing. I felt like a failure. This was not how it was supposed to be. Every defiant action from this little person made me defensive and frustrated. I remember crying out to the Lord and asking Him “why is this sooooo hard?” His reply was very clear. “If this was easy, you wouldn’t need Me.” I was floored.
You see God was using this little ball of energy for my refinement. And I was resisting. I had believed all along that this was wrong. I was not good enough. I didn’t discipline correctly. This kid was just too hard. Any lie the enemy sent my way, I took the bait and believed hook, line and sinker.
The other thing that struck me that day was the Lord’s acknowledgement of my difficulties. I knew that my child was not a mistake. His energy, personality and temperament were BY DESIGN from the One who knit him together in my womb. My expectations were perfection. But God’s expectations were part of something much bigger.
Sometimes what feels like failure is actually an opportunity for the Lord to show His strength.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness,” 2 Corinthians 12:9
I know that in my weakness I am not enough to parent this fireball. I’m ok with that. I don’t need to be enough. Because His strength is made perfect in my weakness. The more I relinquish control of who I think this child should be, the more I see God move.
What area in your life can you relinquish control right now and ask God to move? Is there a relationship that you need to see God’s perspective instead of your expectation?
If Faith is believing what we cannot see, then let’s ask God to do “exceedingly and abundantly above all that we ask or think” in our situation. (Ephesians 3:20) There is no better time than now for God to show his STRENGTH in our weaknesses.
Comments
Post a Comment